Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Appetite of an Emperor

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? Your neighbors consistently noisy cat? Your dirty laundry from when you just finished camping? A hamburger from Burger King? In any case, your pansy diet is nothing  compared to the ludicrous pallet of Emperor Heliogabalus of Rome.

Hint hint
Crowned at the spiffing age of 14, Heliogabalus proceeded to rule over the empire like, well, a 14 year old. Unsuspecting guests at his palace would often sit down to find whoopee cushions on their seats as they sat down to eat (some jokes are funny enough to transcend centuries). 

It is said that Heliogabalus never spent less than 10,000 sesterces ( around $1,000) on a meal. A typical feast for the gluttonous emperor might include an entire pig stuffed with live thrushes, a conger eel fattened of human slave meat, and/or sow's breasts with Lybian truffles. He also nurtured a particular fondness for bird's brains. He consumed the brains of, to name a few, thrushes, parrots, peacocks, and pheasants. He once ordered 600 ostrich heads solely for the divine purpose of brain consumption. He was like an eccentric zombie Big Bird.

"Thanks Google!"
Additionally, he financed a private fishing fleet for the sole purpose of harvesting a specific type of caviar. And if he ever had to eat something as mundane as say rice, he would season it with pieces of gold.


After 4 years of rule, Heliogabalus' reign came to a sudden halt thanks to assassination; but not before  he almost exhausted all of his empire's funds on bird brain.

1 comment:

  1. I love Matter-Eater Lad. Not sure I would share the same fondness for Heliogabalus.

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