Censored Sound

       Tipper Gore. A name that still brings shivers to an entire generation. If you didn't happen to be alive in the 80's, Gore co-founded the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC). The PMRC's goal was to censor music that was deemed unsanitary by them. During a Senate hearing in 1985 on the PMRC's proposal to censor undesirable music, Frank Zappa, Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider, and... um, John Denver eloquently spoke out against the righteous PMRC.

Pictured: PMRC

       Frank Zappa in particular may have spoken just a little bit too eloquently. In his argument, he compared the PMRC to a "sinister kind of 'toilet training program' to house-break all composers." He went on to peacefully state his opinion, commenting on how the PMRC acquired a Senate inquiry: "a couple of blow jobs here and there and bingo, you get a hearing!" 

      Shortly after the inquiry, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), began labeling certain albums with "Parental Advisory" stickers at the PMRC's behest. Rather unsurprisingly, Frank Zappa's newest album at the time, the Grammy winning Jazz from Hell, was bannered with one such sticker. What was surprising though, is that the album is entirely instrumental. 

That guitar sounds... naughty.

      Whether the album was label because of it's devastatingly evil song titles, such as G-spot Tornado, or just because the PMRC held a grudge, is unknown. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and lean towards the latter. 

                                    

It's Raining Sharks

Many people believe the classic cinema "Sharknado" is completely fictitious. Well, those people are fools, because sometimes live sharks fall out of the sky. 

Take that intelligent people. 

Anyway, one of the best (and only) tale of a live shark falling out of the sky, occurred in October of 2012, in a golf course in Capistrano, California. 

The club's course marshal (the guy who yells at people playing too slowly) happened upon the 2-foot leopard shark In a tree. 

The marshal was flabbergasted to find the animal still alive, so he threw it in the back of his gold cart and took it back to the lodge. Only there did someone suggest putting the shark in some water. 

The marshal then put the tank containing the resilient fish in his car, then proceed to drive to the ocean and release the creature; giving the proverbial middle finger to fate. 

It is theorized that the small shark was snatched by an osprey (one of the only birds in the area that could pick up a fish that heavy). The osprey then dropped the shark, for some reason. 

The more likely possibility though: Sharknado.

Appetite of an Emperor

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? Your neighbors consistently noisy cat? Your dirty laundry from when you just finished camping? A hamburger from Burger King? In any case, your pansy diet is nothing  compared to the ludicrous pallet of Emperor Heliogabalus of Rome.

Hint hint

Crowned at the spiffing age of 14, Heliogabalus proceeded to rule over the empire like, well, a 14 year old. Unsuspecting guests at his palace would often sit down to find whoopee cushions on their seats as they sat down to eat (some jokes are funny enough to transcend centuries). 

It is said that Heliogabalus never spent less than 10,000 sesterces ( around $1,000) on a meal. A typical feast for the gluttonous emperor might include an entire pig stuffed with live thrushes, a conger eel fattened of human slave meat, and/or sow's breasts with Lybian truffles. He also nurtured a particular fondness for bird's brains. He consumed the brains of, to name a few, thrushes, parrots, peacocks, and pheasants. He once ordered 600 ostrich heads solely for the divine purpose of brain consumption. He was like an eccentric zombie Big Bird.

"Thanks Google!"

Additionally, he financed a private fishing fleet for the sole purpose of harvesting a specific type of caviar. And if he ever had to eat something as mundane as say rice, he would season it with pieces of gold.

After 4 years of rule, Heliogabalus' reign came to a sudden halt thanks to assassination; but not before  he almost exhausted all of his empire's funds on bird brain.