Nazis Invade Women's Hockey

            Oh Hitler. Hitler Hitler Hitler. Why did you have to go and ruin the good name of so many things? The mustache, zyklon-b, the Swastika, so many positive reputations destroyed! Wait, the Swastika had a good reputation? Of course! Up until that "World War" thing the Swastika was a common good luck sign. It was often seen on team uniforms, such as these:

I didn't know Canada was part of WWII...

            Ok, so thats one team. It still doesn't mean it was a common thing. I'm sure there isn't, say, basketball teams who w...

Hitler Teen.

              Thats the 1909 Chilocco Indian Agricultural School basketball team. I don't exactly know where Chilocco is, but I'm pretty sure it's not in the Fatherland. The team name is even "The Swastikas". No but seriously it was really popular in hockey for some reason. Here is a team photo of the proud "Windsor Swastikas," as well as some other team from somewhere. 

Yea.

Wait a sec, what sport is this?

           Sadly, I could find no documentation of Swastika ultimate frisbee teams. I can't wait for some league to bring these back for Throwback Jersey Day. To soon?

           

"Ich bin ein Berliner"

                                                                  ~Speed blog~

            Kennedy gave a long speech in West Germany during the cold war, but that doesn't really matter. He talked about freedom, democracy, nationalism, all that boring stuff. So Skip to the end of his speech when he delivers his famous line "Ich bin ein Berliner" (Thats German). 

Wahwahwahwah wahwah. (Snoopy teacher voice, not in the dictionary. Sorry.)

          After Kennedy ended with his famous line "I am a Berliner", all the Germans were laughing, because "Ich bin ein Berliner" translates to "I am a jelly-filled doughnut!"

               MYTH!!!!!!!!!!

         According to eyewitnesses, no German tittered when the president gave his speech. Because, well, it means "I am a Berliner," and thats it!

Whateves.

          The people who started this myth claim that the "ein" screwed Kennedy. "Ich bin Berliner" means I am from Berlin," so adding "ein" changes the definition. It turns out its pretty much just slang. It's like saying "I am a New Yorker", even though it should be said "I am from New York." Plus Berliner isn't even the delicious pastry. Nothing even comes close to that translation. 

           So how was this rumor started? In a 1983 spy novel Berlin Game, where a fictional character says that Kennedy says "I am a Doughnut." Completely fictitious. Anyway the New York Times picked it up as a fact after reviewing the novel, and people who don't speak german have been quoting it ever since.

           FACT

The Great Escape

            In 1998, Charles Victor Thompson was sentenced to death for murdering his ex-girlfriend. So there he sat on death row for 7 years, until he decided that the whole "death row" thing wasn't really his thing. So he began to plot his ingenious escape plan.

Brace yourselves for the most gut-wrenching story of all time. 

            The first part of his plan was to get civilian clothes smuggled into his cell. Pretty typical stuff here. The next phase was his escape. One might expect a carefully hand-dug whole under his bed, but no. Charles simply called a meeting with his attorney, then while the attorney was outside of the room, he donned his civilian clothes. He then used a very particular skill he had practiced many times. He walked out of the room via the unlocked door. 

Lots of civilians wear yellow jump suits. They are all the rage now a days.

              But Charles wasn't out of the woods yet. He was stopped at the front desk by a security guard. Luckily, Charles had already prepared this part of his brilliantly orchestrated plan. Wait, no he didn't. He was luckily a master of improvisation, so he lamely flashed his prison ID badge and mumbled something about being with the attorney general's office. 

Sorry Mr. President, I didn't recognize you until you showed me that badge.

              So rather than ask any more nosey questions, the guard let him past. And Charles went scott free! Until a bit later when they found him drunk at near by liquor store.